Sorry Folks!

I have no time to blog!
We had our appt with the Hemangioma Dr. in San Francisco on the 30th of November.

Ava's hemagioma had grown to 7.5 centimeters by 7 centimeters, that is how big the tumor beneath the skin was. The purple birthmarks had also grown more looking more moley and raised. Anyway, it had grown into her ear canal to where the ear drum isn't visible.
The Dr. had decided it was best to begin treatment ASAP, we were so on board! Finally a Dr. who listened to us.
Ava will be taking Orapred (Prednisone) and Zantac/Axid (which ever she will keep down) and an antibiotic, for at least 12 months before they wean her off. The side effects of the steroids are her adult height may be stunted because of the long term use of the roids, that is OK because we are short people, probably wouldn't have noticed she was short. She is going to pack on the pounds, she is already up to 12 pounds and 23 1/2 inches long- BEFORE the roids...and she was only 7 weeks old! That we will deal with. Her immune system will be weakened because of the long term use, which is why she take the antibiotic. We will have to be careful who she is around. And she will get "roid rage", not the Dr's term. They prefer to say that she will be unusually moody and "may not seem like the same baby" as long as she is on them.
This as one who has ever had a colicky baby will know - evoked fear into my core.
So pretty much I have no time to blog WHATSOEVER because she is crying....ALL DAY LONG!
She cat naps 10 minutes here 15 minutes there. But as soon as I try to lay her down she realized that she is no longer touching me and wakes up. I am emotionally raw. Verge of tears all day, actually as I write this my eyes are filled up with tears. I shower infrequently, I can't shower with her screaming her head off, so I have to wait for Don to be home. Car rides are fine while I am on the freeway, at stop signs, stop lights or traffic jams she cries, the car HAS to keep moving.
I was thinking of getting a part time job just to get me out of the house, but I can't put her in daycare, her immune system being weak, anything that can become pneumonia can be deadly to her and they would just put a crying baby in a play pen to be neglected all day. I can't even hire an old lady from church to hold her all day cause she would quit after a week of the crying. I am not myself. I am angry, ornery, sad, mopey, blah, tired, ugly, impatient, behind my eyes I am vacant, I am void of genuine emotion, unless of course it is anger and sadness, those I seem to be able to handle quiet well at the moment.
We will be going to SF every other month for a while. Our family vacation this year will be in weekend increments to SF. I am not complaining about that at all, I love SF. I love that we will be able to be tourists in short periods, we will have time to do every little thing we can think of. The steroids are only attempting to stop the growth of the tumor right now, after she is on the meds for a year we will wean her off and if the thing starts growing again she is back on the full does for another 6 months. If it doesn't start growing we will slowly wean her off. Then we can look into options to reduce it's size. It will eventually go away on its own and we may allow it to do that if it is not impeding her ear canal and hasn't caused any permanent damage to anything?? Who knows what we will do? I can't tell you that I will allow her to be on the steroids for much longer. I have to weigh the benefits for her versus the cost of my sanity. Pretty selfish huh? She does need to be on them until at least Feb. (that is our next appt in SF) I really don't want her hearing to be affected? So I will probably just have to tough it out.
Anyway - I am rambling because I can't come up with a clear thought.

I have a ton of pictures from when the fam was here and when we went to SF I will post later.

Please keep me in your prayers - I need the patience and tolerance. Ava too - it's not her fault she cries all the time, I know she is physically uncomfortable. ARGH!
other then that - we are all fine. Brooklyn is wonderful as always! She is my only sanity on most days.