Before Sandy passed away we were talking about embarrassing moments in our lives. As I was sharing my gems, I realized that I had 4 that are truly embarrassing. So I thought I would add them to my 4 things list.
I will put these in chronological order, because ranking them by most embarrassing to least embarrassing would be too hard!
1. Oct. 30 1996 Becky Bedier (Medsker now) and I had gone to San Fransisco to see her then boyfriend. I thought it would be cool to spend my B-day in SF. He was in the coast guard academy and there was a costume ball at an old light house. I dressed up like a go-go dancer/hippie (pretty much a regular for me then). I had these white platform shoes that had a platform underneath the toe like 2 inches and a 5 inch heal that I was wearing. I was like..."Hey, I am almost 19...looking FINE....here with a bunch of coast guard boys I will never never never see again....I am going to work it out!" Walking into the light house you have to step up like a foot to clear the threshold...well my right heal never made it. I misjudged my clearance in those shoes. My heal clipped the cement threshold and I fell so hard and so fast I didn't have time to put my hands down to break my fall...luckily I have a face and teeth to do that for me! I jumped up as fast as I could...tried to play it off...went to the bathroom where my entire front of my body was beginning to bruise, my front teeth chipped, and eventually broke off, once back to Vegas, and for the rest of the night I wasn't "That hot girl from Vegas" Oh no....I was "that's the girl that biffed it down stairs."
2. 2002 - When I worked for KB home, my community was in Southern California. So a few times a year we had to fly to Cali for our KB Pow Wow. One trip I was wearing a black skirt with a thin elastic waist, no snaps, or buttons, just elastic to hold it up. I was also wearing black hose and a black slip. As we were standing up to off board my skirt stayed tucked under my knees which were firmly pressed back to the seat and as I stood up my skirt stayed in place and my body rose....I pants myself in front of strangers and coworkers! Luckily there My slip was still relatively in place.
3. March 16, 2006 I signed up to volunteer for the Special Olympics Winter Games up here at Kirkwood through my employer. It was cold and had been snowing all night the night before. I rode up with my branch manager, the branch manager from another office and our resident financial planner. We all walk up an icy hill to a lodge where we check in and get our S.O. volunteer credentials. The manager from the other office and I were assigned to the same place so we start walking back down icy hill to the road and I slip. I fall...I slide..pretty huh? I thought I had just rolled my ankle, maybe sprained it? It hurt pretty badly. So with the help of Linda we walk back up said icy hill. Now I encounter my boss and financial planner, being manly men they offer to help me up the stairs to the lodge to rest my leg. I do it by myself. They go about their duties. I rest my leg in the S.O. headquarters while debating whether or not they should call the paramedics for me. Meanwhile people are asking what I had done to myself, and my standard reply was,"Oh, I am such a retard. I slipped and fell on the ice." Ok so I proceed to call myself a retard oh about 7 times before I realize the looks that I am getting is because I am in the Special Olympics tent area! Argh! Foot in mouth. The paramedic comes to get me on her snow mobile and says, " I am required to ask, since I am picking you up here. Are you a S.O. participant?" HAHA that was great!!! I was asked if I was a Special Olympics participant!!!
I broke my leg that day. But it was hysterical.
4. Spring 2006. Just had a root canal. I needed to stop off at Albertsons and get some groceries. I was feeling mighty cute this day also. You know you walk a bit differently when you are feeling especially cute?
I go back to the bakery get a fresh loaf of french bread. Bakery lady says.."Would you like a hot fresh chocolate chip cookie?" Ohh...I hadn't eaten all day so I could have clean teeth at the dentist...Heck yes! I want a cookie!! I take her cookie and a bag of them. I devoured my cookie. I walk around the store, and I am noticing people looking at me and smiling. 'I am looking good today!' Man, people are looking at me smiling and almost flirting with me. I am feeling even better about myself - check me out! I pay for my items, walking out and I catch 2 firemen staring at me. 'I must be on one today - I haven't been hit on like this since I was thinner - and by firemen!!' I couldn't wait to get to the car to call Holly.
I pick up my phone, throw down my sun visor to get a glimpse of myself and how hot I must look today, only to see that I had chocolate SCHMEARED across my face and lips! The aforementioned fresh hot chocolate cookie that I devoured had oozed on down my chin and my lips, well being numbed up from my root canal I couldn't feel a thing! I had been pressing my lips together through the store trying to get feeling back into them which only spread the chocolate all across my lips. I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants! No one! Not one person even did a face brush..like you have a little something on your face! Nothing!
Oh well, what fun would that had been?
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3 comments:
hahahaha! I love reliving these moments, I am getting a good laugh. The special olympics is my favorite though. way to insult the mentally challenged! just kidding
A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, man, that cracked me up. I'm with Holly, the special olympics one is classic. Thanks for the belly laughs!!!
Like sands through the hourglass.... I never get tired of any ONE of those stories. You're not alone. I feel like a "retard" more than I ever feel cool. And just when I think that maybe I've got it going on, I glance in the mirror to see egg, er, cookie all over my face.
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